Take a Pause
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Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.
JOHN O’DONOGHUE
How are you doing during these strangest of times? I imagine it’s not a one word answer. I’m certainly feeling it all – immense gratitude and joy for the simplest of pleasures, mixed with sadness, fear, grief, anger. I’m letting it all flow in and out, trusting it’s all a necessary part of this experience.
A few weeks ago, as we shifted into lockdown, I was full of anxiety: a book I’ve written, and have poured heart and soul into, was due to launch this month. I had the launch event booked (and was about to invite you all!), and was super-excited. Then, bang, launch cancelled, world in meltdown, everyone’s attention on one thing only.
At first, I berated myself: how could you choose this of all times to launch? If only you’d done it sooner. You’re always so slow. Having waited so long, I also decided I simply had to forge ahead.
At the same time, there was a still small voice inside me: this just doesn’t feel right. Take a pause. Ride with circumstance. The rigid pusher in me fought back: No, I have to do this NOW.
After a week or two of living with my edgy nervous system, as I kept trying to force a square peg into a round hole, I realised that sometimes the most appropriate thing we can do is to let something go. Even though doing so runs counter to everything I’ve been taught about keeping to my word and not letting people (in this case, mostly myself) down, that action is always preferable to inaction, and that being late is not a good thing. But actually, delaying was the kindest and most respectful thing I could do for this project. It deserves a better time to make its way into the world.
Once I’d made the decision to push things back by a few months, I felt myself soften. It also gave me the headspace to meet myself more fully during these unprecedented circumstances. While they are of course challenging, they are also a fertile learning ground, and have aspects to them that are strangely beautiful. I want to connect to rather than distract from them.
I would also love to hold space for you via an online yoga class during this time. I will be teaching my first one, via Zoom, next Thursday (April 23rd) from 7.45am-8.45am. It will be FREE for everyone as it’ll be a bit of a trial, with a view to making it a weekly event, payable by donation.
